Simple, kind ways to show up when someone is hurting
Grief finds its way into the workplace, whether we are ready or not. A colleague may lose a parent, a child, a friend, or be caring for someone who is declining. They might still be in shock or simply trying to make it through the day after everything has changed.
You may not know what to say. That is normal. But most grieving people do not need perfect words. They need to know they are not alone.
Here is how to support a grieving coworker, whether you are a manager, a direct report, or a teammate.
If You Are a Manager
1. Lead with care before logistics
Start with empathy. The policies can come later. Acknowledge the loss as a human first.
Try saying:
- “I’m really sorry you are going through this. Let’s talk about time off or coverage when you are ready.”
- “I am here to support you however I can.”
2. Be specific about options
Grief is disorienting. Provide answers so they do not have to search for them. Outline what leave is available and how to request it. Let them know about sick time, bereavement policies, or other support programs.
Offer help directly:
- “Would it be helpful if I updated the team so you don’t have to?”
- “I can move meetings or help clear your calendar this week.”
3. Give them space to return at their own pace
When they come back, avoid assuming they are ready to jump back in. Ask what would feel helpful and let them set the tone.
You might say:
- “No need to respond right now, just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you.”
- “If anything feels like too much, we can adjust it.”
If You Are a Coworker
1. Do not stay silent
Say something kind and simple. Even an email or direct message can show support. Avoid pretending nothing happened. You can say:
- “I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.”
- “I’m thinking about you and your family.”
- “You don’t need to say anything, but I just wanted to offer my support.”
Avoid giving advice or sharing your own stories unless they ask.
2. Offer practical help
Instead of saying “Let me know if you need anything,” be specific.
Try offering:
- “Can I take notes for you during the team meeting?”
- “Do you want to skip the check-in today? I can cover for you.”
- “I’m ordering lunch later. Want me to grab something for you?”
Small acts can ease a heavy day.
3. Keep showing up
Support matters after the funeral too. Some days your colleague may be distracted or quiet. Be consistent.
Check in gently:
- “How are you holding up today?”
- “Want to talk or prefer not to?”
- “Would a walk or coffee break feel good right now?”
Let them lead. The kindest thing is to stay close without crowding.
Final Thought
You do not need to be a grief expert to be helpful. You just need to be kind, patient, and willing to stay present.
When people are grieving, the workplace does not need to be perfect. It just needs to feel human. Showing care, honoring boundaries, and being steady can make all the difference.
